Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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