Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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