who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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