is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
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