saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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