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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
