Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
