I cannot find my penis.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
