it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
