He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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