I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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