she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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