At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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