Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm getting married
To pizza
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
