i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We don't watch enough power rangers
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
