i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just google imaged poop.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
