you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
