Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize