i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
