so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
