Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
