Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
