My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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