Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
