We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
