I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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