At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
