I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
