Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize