I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
they're like a gay fantastic four
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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