When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
