know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
