Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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