Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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