im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
