she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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