yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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