I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You smell like stripper and shame
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
40s are totally the cure
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
