let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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