Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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