dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
