You made me cry and you don't even care
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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