I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
