he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize