I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
