i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
