I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
