Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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