p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
