I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
