I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
