Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Rumble strips road head = magical
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
